Sunday Funnies
posted by TheDon

Meat The Press

Chertoff on TERROR in LONDON!!!
I guess England isn’t fighting them over there hard enough.
Weird… Chertoff first says we don’t know if there is “an international link”, then says, “And as far as the Homeland is concerned, we do not see any specific connection to the Homeland at this point in time.”
This is a complete 180 on administration policy. I thought every evil thought came from Al-Qeda, and every bomb was built by OBL himself. And this whole “Homeland” schtick still sounds a bit pre-1940’s Germany to me.
Chertoff says that in light of the activities in England that they is going to be “surging of our air marshall capabilities”. Sigh. It’s like their hearts aren’t even in to scaring us that much anymore. But he does remind us that AQ is still talking about attacking us. Heightened sense of awareness, blah blah. You know it’s just killing these guys that AQ won’t attack us here. They are sure that every attack is worth one more republican president.
Timmeh asks Chertoff if he’s surprised that we don’t get hit harder by car bombs, etc. MC “reminds” him that we were hit by a car bomb – in 1993 at the World Trade Center! And by Timmothy McVeigh! Hilarious! I think he just made Timmeh’s point for him.
MC praises vigilance by ordinary citizens. Doesn’t bring up wiretapping, break-ins and mail snatching. hmmmm….
And now Leahy.
Timmeh asks about subpeonas affecting our national security. Leahy squashes that bit of silliness. Timmeh seems to struggle with the concept of “legal” versus “illegal”. “Checks and balances” makes him cock his head like a dog listening to algebra. He pretends not to understand the phrase “Nixonian stonewalling”. Leahy indulges him with civics 101, and calls out Gonzo. Nice.
Timmeh: What does “full force of the law” mean? Are we headed to a Constitutional Crisis.
A: No, we’re already there. Get comfortable, we’re gonna be there for a while. (Actually, Leahy says that he hopes not.)
Timmeh presents Fred Fielding’s BS letter as a good offer. Leahy deconstructs it and mocks it. Sweet. Timmeh presents a hypothetical which won’t happen. Leahy is a very, very patient man. He mentions that the next Gonzo appearance will be an “open book exam” – the questions submitted a week ahead. Bold prediction: this will NOT help his “memory”.
Leahy give his excuse for voting for John Roberts, and admits that he is “extraordinarily disappointed” with the cavalier way Brown V. Board was thrown aside, among other things. Yeah. Welcome to our world. Turns out Roberts is exactly who we said he is. Duh.
Round Table with some fucktard David Brody from the Christian Broadcasting Network? WTF?!?!?
Immigration defeat. Yeah. I’ll cry myself to sleep for a couple of weeks over that. With a Democratic president, and more/better Democrats in congress we’ll get a much better bill. We have to solve the problem, but not on the terms of the Chamber of Commerce.
Brody hits the righty talking points that W isn’t a conservative. Riiiiiiiight.
Timmeh asks Tavis Smiley about Obama vs Clinton, esp in the African-American community. Nice. I’m sure it wasn’t because he’s Black. Positive, in fact.
Obama is raising a lot more primary money that Hillary, and with a huge number of donors. This is going to be an interesting race. Two flawed candidates, both of them far superior to anyone on the other side.
People tell the Mason-Dixon poll that they wouldn’t vote for Hillary under any circumstances. Yeah. What if the opponent is Giuliani? I thought so. – anonymous insider site which trashes Obama. Fun! Look for lots more like this before this cycle is over.
Kids 17-29 strongly prefer Dems, esp Hillary and Obama. Nothing like a war, even without a draft, to keep people away from the GOOPs. And gay-bashing. And immigrant-bashing. Race baiting. etc.
Giuliani has flip-flopped on gay rights and abortion. Call Mike Wallace. But the righties have figured out that picking judges is important, so he’s playing that song loud. And 9/11, 9/11, 9/11.
Brody admits that evangelicals like simple-minded black/white right/wrong people, and Rudy is like that. ugh. Two terms of that has been more than enough, thank you.
56% of Iowa Republicans want all troops out of Iraq within six months. Just damn. Iowa.
Evangelical leaders are ready to take down Rudy. But…but…but… who will they support? The Mormon? The lobbyist womanizer? The straight-out-the-ass talker? Who? Maybe they can run Pat Robertson again. Or maybe Brownback? Huckabee? George Allen isn’t busy… This could actually be car-wreck fun.
The CIA released the “family jewels”. Wow! I’m glad they don’t spy on Americans or kidnap people anymore! What dark days have passed!

Fawkes News

Topics: Terror! Immigration reform is dead! How can we protect the border? The Fairness Doctrine. Hey! Mark Green! I’ll have to watch that segment. But not Chertoff again today.
The Fairness Doctrine. I’ll admit I don’t care that much because it’s not going to happen any more than the Amnesty Bill was going to pass. But I will watch for Air America owner Mark Green, since I subscribe to his network’s podcasts. To clarify – I would care a great deal if I thought anyone’s First Ammendment rights were in danger, but they aren’t. Now if they want to get back to diversifying media ownership, I’m in, but we won’t see that until the next president. This just sounds like more ginning up the base because them libruls are after Rush. Yawn.
Kewl. Mark Green brings in the truth to combat Wallace and some other grinning right-wing idiot named Mike Gallagher. Everyone but Green sticks to the lie that this is a real issue that someone is trying to push into law. Wallace is a snotty little bitch who doesn’t want Green talking about his views, just the strawman. As usual. Green’s against censorship and monopolies. 1,000 hours to zero conservative vs liberal talk doesn’t seem “fair and balanced” to Green.
The Supreme Court has turned to the right. Suprise! Who could have seen that coming? Except, you know, everybody NOT in the Senate Democratic caucus.
Everyone agrees that the Supremes are singing out of the right sides of their mouths. A string of 5-4 decisions will do that. Kristol can’t stop grinning.
Juan thinks this court would have been different with Gonzo and Meirs on it instead of Roberts and Alito. I suspect it would have been much more right-wing, with three numb-nuts (Gonzo, Meirs and Thomas) following Scalia’s lead, with Kennedy giving them 5-4 decisions. I never thought I would miss Sandra Day O’Connor this much.
Kristol is so giddy that you have to suspect that’s he’s been “celebrating” the court decisions. A lot.
Amnesty is still dead. Hume is happy. Everyone seems surprised that Bush didn’t go for “border security first”. Guess what. W does NOT care about border security, even a little. He only cares about getting the Chamber of Commerce some cheap labor. Period. Why would he agree to pay for a fence when it might cut off the cheap labor, and no guest-worker program?
I agree with Juan (and W) that this must be done comprehensively, but the smell of bigotry was strong on this issue. Let’s just wait until we can control the issue and get the bill we want.
Brit points out that the conversations he hears don’t mention “Mexicans” or “Latinos”, but “illegals”, so it wasn’t racist. Ummmm… yeah… most people understand that naked bigotry won’t win many arguments, so they use the code. Guess what – when they said “illegal” they weren’t talking about Bosnians, or Irish immigrants, or Brits, or Ozzies. They meant the brown ones.
Power Player
Oh. My. God. Grover Norquist. Thanks for giving a platform to Mr Drown It In A Bathtub. In fairness, he is a power player, and not a museum curator.

This Weak

Terror in London. Amnesty RIP. Dick Lugar opposes the War. Chertoff and Lieberman. The Supreme Court. This is gonna be fast. The roundtable has Bay Buchanan?!?! ugh. But it is fun to watch Donna Brazile chew her up and spit her out.
First Chertoff – (fast forward)
Now Lieberman. You know how the first ff gets you 4X, then 15X, 60X, and finally 300X? I need one even faster for this lying tool.
Ok, I had to listen. As expected, things are just now turning around (again), and we should give them a chance (again). Maybe he’s like the guy in Memento, with no short-term memory. He seems fascinated with the “new” strategy of clear, build and hold. Yeah. New. I know. Bless his heart. He’s never going to agree to get out of Iraq.
(fast forward)
Panel time
The Supremes. Donna Brazile calls Roberts’ words Orwellian. Nice. She’s worked up in the best possible way. Bay is, of course, thrilled with stopping all that discrimination against white children. Cokie makes a pitch for better public schools. Hear, hear!
Everybody thinks these decisions will focus the public on the consequences of picking a president, and who gets on the court. The bad news is that none of the righties are likely to resign soon, except maybe Kennedy.
Cheney. Everyone seems amused by that zany, magnificent bastard. Bay is in awe.
Executive priviledge. Comparisons between Clinton and W. Yawn. This is going to court, and won’t be over until he’s out of office.
Bay says it just looks like the Dems are going after W on all of these issues trying to bring him down, and it’s killing them in the polls. I don’t really remember this argument being made by her side in the 90’s. Even a little.
Skank Coulter, the crack-whore of the GOOPs. Ick.
More primary stuff. Yawn.
If you have an erection longer than 4 hours call a doctor. That might have been a commercial.
In Memoriam
Liz Clairborne.
John J Flynt (GA congressman)
Joel Siegel (movie reviewer)
33 service members (average age – 25, median age – 23)
Voice – James Earl Jones is teaching kids about literacy.

2 Responses to “”

  1. IrishUp Says:

    Just wanted to thank you for posting these. I just can’t stand watching any of them anymore. It’s like having novocaine dripped into your ears while someone pokes you in the eyes.
    Now I get a concise summary – without the nasty side-effects!

  2. TheDon Says:

    Thank you! I blush…

    If it weren’t for DVR and fast-forward muscles well toned by years of wasting time in front of video games…

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